BIRTHDAY WISHLIST

A friend asked me for a Birthday Wish List yesterday. I cannot come up with an answer on that moment. I know I have things in my mind that I really like but I can't wish it just like that because it costs a fortune! You know like a Canon 600D or GoPro4 or a laptop. Right? Right?

So instead of putting those in my wish list, I came up with the easier stuff. This list serves as a motivation for me actually. And I am not expecting anyone to grant these because who's crazy to do that? :P

1) Running Shoes - It's been one year since I've been dreaming about one pair of running shoes from Merrell (any color will do but you know me and I love the color Red). And, as of today, I registered for the Color Run Dubai 2015 on November and I should train as early as I can because I don't run that much and this fun run will be a challenge to me. Hahaha. I am not kidding with this fun run! 

2) Make Up (Set) - I don't do make-ups! I only know how to put lipstick on. And mind you, everybody is already complaining to this fact. Yes I look pale. And I will try to study putting it on. And because I only have 12 months left to prepare (to apply for the next dream job - and that includes putting on make up), there's no better time to start having these on my birthday!  

3) Bath and Body Works (Warm Vanilla) - This is the easiest one. My favorite scent! I ran out of these and haven't been able to go to the nearest mall to grab it. Hahahaha. 

3) Instax Mini 8 (I prefer two colors only: Blue or Black) - Since I am a sucker for rare but sweet photographs, I am a sucker of this! I wanted photographs that I can (physically) keep.

Other than saving money for my travel fund and for other stuff, this post will remind me of these stuff (that I need and want). Hopefully, I can have these at the end of this year. Wish me luck! :) 

¡FELIZ ANIVERSARIO!

Today marks the exact date of my first flight of my life. Since I've never flown out of Luzon, let alone a flight going out of the country, I can never forget the first flight of my life which is via Philippine Airlines, Flight PR 2658 bound to Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

As I look back, I cannot imagine how big the change was. I cannot fathom all the things happened in my life, may it be positive.. and negative. I am a total different stranger from the person I used to know, a year ago.

Let me share some of the highlights of my journey:

CAREER 

I am working in a small company with strict compliance of rules and policies (well every company does). But my friends are telling me that I am working with the Mafia (as to Dubai Standards'). I have one day off and that is Tuesdays alone for the whole year. No holidays. No sick leave. (Though they granted me an emergency leave last May).

Some of you may ask, did I regret working with them? Do I hate them? No. Because....

I did had an opportunity to work in that field. Working in a travel agency gave me an opportunity to see the world in a way that no flight was done, yet. I am grateful to gain an access in Amadeus (and learned it by heart, as well as be trained in their office), Galileo, and TACentre. I learned a lot about airline rules, ticket rules, visa restrictions, labor laws, destinations management/familiarity, and many more.

I can go on and count all the negative things about my company, but the list of  the positive things that I learned in this job is a treasure. No one can take away the values and work abilities that I learned. One example is working under high pressure while trying to reach sales quota...daily. Every day, it is back to zero.Another thing is maintaining my patience and being calm whenever a passenger is too stupid/boastful/rude/ungrateful of their requests, favors and question. 

SOCIAL LIFE
Social life. Hard. Especially when your day involves on waking up, taking a bath, going to office, go home and sleep. I find it difficult to make friends outside my 'work' life. So I made my way to get to know other people and to build friendship. Of course, not everyone is meant to stay in your life. And I am not perfect and I know that I screwed up a lot of times. To those whom I hurt (unintentionally or just out of stupidity), I am really sorry. To those who stayed and motivated me to become a better, wiser and stronger person, thank you so much! I love you to the bones!

Couchsurfing. I used this site two years ago but I didn't took it seriously. This year, I tried it with all my heart and I tried to be active as much as possible. I gained friends that I cannot imagine I will gain in a short period of time. I am so happy to meet the members I surfed with, the travelers who visited Dubai, to those who hosted me (in different ways) and to my new set of friends. 

Iftar, Ramadan 2015 

Thursday Night in Barasti

First friend in CS, Wonsik from South Korea 

Rupok from BG, Sam from AU, Me, Vianca and Fredo from PH

With Yani from PH and Felix from DE

With Yuta from JP, Jeff from PH and Angel from ES

Love life. Well, this is not my priority in life. I am pretty happy being single. I can't handle myself properly, let alone taking another human being as my responsibility. Unfortunately, for the past 12 months, I met two guys whom I liked, cool and funny to be with, independent, etc. But sad to say, they just broke my heart in some ways. Take note, they weren't my boyfriend. I REPEAT: THEY WEREN'T MY BOYFRIEND. THEY AREN'T MINE. Okay? Clear? Si?

Bottom line: Thanks for the experience. You were such a good person in your own ways. I've known myself better through you, I've learned something, and I grow. But I think I am better without you. See you around. :')

P.S. I am satisfied with my current crush (okay teenager feels!) *winks winks*. 

FAMILY
A year ago, I left our small humble home full of dreams and hopes for my mom and dad. Growing up in a not so blessed (in terms of finance, but I am so grateful that I was able to finish my college degree) family motivates me to pursue my dreams and my dreams for them. But it seems to me that life is really pushing me to my limit. I can say that life is pretty unfair. Just after 8 months since I left, my dad passed away. He left. He left me. He's gone.....

I would like to say that everything is okay. That I can still go on like what am I before. But I would be lying when I say that. A part of me has died. A part of me was gone.

When I am at work, I was like in an ON mode.. Back in the normal days and doing my best in work.
But when I'm not, I turn into my OFF mode. Nursing myself with sadness or eating or crying. There are people who's very good at coping with loss, and I can say that I am. Daddy's girl eh, you know?

~

It's been a rough and a bumpy ride for me. 

I grew and learned a lot that I will treasure forever.

My faith was stronger. God revealed Himself to me once more that His love and kindness reigns over my failures, mistakes, and sins.  

And I become wiser and bolder. Let's talk about the version 2.0.

The world is ahead of me... and I am taking the challenge. Bring it on for Round 2!

MEETING YOU IS AN ACCIDENT AND YOU BECAME MY CHOICE

I think this week was a weird week like a roller coaster ride. And why is that if you may ask? I met Mr. Lad from the Land Down Under! Dubai is the final leg of his vacation and on Thursday morning, he went back to his home country.

He arrived last Monday morning which is the first day of the week that I didn't had enough sleep. I was so focused or worried about our plan to go to Oman Musandam. If I will not be able to borrow my passport, we cannot go.

After getting through the day of worrying, they let me borrow my passport for a day. But I think the universe would like to make a scene that's why the tour got cancelled because of the bad weather (waves of the sea, etc.) as per the tour operator. This pissed me off literally...big time! But of course, I cannot do anything about it. So I have to shrug it off. We had dinner and we had interesting conversation about everything.

We started my day off seizing the day by sleeping. Well I think he did, but I had these clients who doesn't understand the word 'DAY OFF'. Like it's the only day in a week that I got! I am already working six days a week times 11 hours in a day. I am begging! But they didn't understand it anyway. Instead of throwing tantrums, I took naps and naps and naps as much as I can get.

We had lunch in Max's (a Filipino Restaurant) and we talked about the stocks and investments all throughout. This is a surprise to me and to him (I guess).

A good time in the pool in the rooftop was the thing we did after some walking. The view from the rooftop was really relaxing, let alone the dip in the pool. I got the chance to hear some stories that I know he can never tell to just any girl. I felt fortunate, and felt sad at the same time to hear the biscuit story. I will never look at biscuits the same way again.

Since it is Tuesday, we went to the weekly meet-up in Crowne Plaza then to the after party which is in The Rodeo Drive. The night didn't end up as a great party since I had a breakdown due to personal issues, but I am so thankful that he's there. I felt sorry that I wasn't able to tell him the issue that I saw coming but his care was enough.

At The Rodeo Drive with friends

Wednesday. The last full day of his trip which is the final leg of his vacation. I got mixed emotions since I have to work 'til late at night but I am happy for him because he was able to do his one must-accomplished thing to do in Dubai, snowboarding in Ski Dubai.

The last dinner. The highlight of his trip for me. This is the night that I told him to look for the note that I wrote for him. So when I asked him to look for it, he already knew where it was and he just pulled it out. I found out that he went for a visit during the day to look for it. I asked him to write a note for me. And that's him, so focused and serious. He told me to come and read it when he left. *dug dug dug dug* 

At KimChikin

The last night of his stay in Dubai includes him taking pictures of me. I want him to delete it because I look so wasted and silly but he said he doesn't want to because he liked it. And because he know I can sing a little, he asked me to sing, for him. The favorite song that I do know very well is I'd Rather - Jasmine Trias. Good thing he doesn't know the song. But I think the message of the song is okay and suits the moment. 

We watched and talked about some movie clips with movie soundtracks then we reached the point of playing 'Falling Slowly' from the movie 'Once'. I was so surprised that he know this movie. We both love the song! I was singing the song like whispering it to his ear while my feet is on his feet (like when you dance slowly). I felt that was one of the sweetest moment of his stay. It was so simple yet very memorable to me. 

Last Morning in Dubai 

He checked out the next morning and he asked me to go to airport (I think he did?). Good thing is that I am wearing jeans (or at least casual) because I was planning to wear shorts only for me to go home directly.

At the airport, he checked-in his luggage already and the tension is there for me. He didn't went in first and he decided to stay for a few more minutes. I cannot picture out what is he thinking at that moment. I regret that I wasn't able to say all the stuff that I want to tell him personally, like telling him directly in his face that I like him. As to what written in my note, I will confess my feelings before he leave Dubai.

And this is it. It is now or never. But... it is his time to go in. Damn!
I cannot remember if he said he's going in or I pushed him to go in. I didn't care anymore if we're in a Muslim country. I let him kiss me on the cheeks and hug him tight that I don't want him to let go. But I know that if I stay for another minute, I know I will not be able to let go. So I think I pushed him away.

I hate saying goodbye, as well as dropping someone off especially in airports. He's walking towards the counter and I am wishing (I have to use this word) that he will not look back. I think it will be easier if he will not look back. But he did. Oh no. He kept looking back at me til' he passed that counter for him to cross the immigration.

He stood there, waving his hands as a formal goodbye. I don't want to stare long cos' I'm afraid that sadness might crawl into my skin. I think it was me who turn my back first. And when I did, I realized one thing. It is not that I am not confident about myself. It is that I am afraid that you will just be a 'too good to be true' guy for me. That the happiness you brought is just until here. No part 2, part 3, part 4. Like a holiday romance.

And I don't want that to happen. I am too scared.

CONFESSION PART: (Since I am too afraid to tell it in your face...)
I like you as I like my cup of instant coffee everyday, sweet and always there for me. It keeps me awake and you awakened the mushy part of me. I know I say it often that I don't like it much but knowing you makes me think of mushy things with you.

I like how you open yourself to me.
I like how you accept my silliness... and how you accept me for saying I am crazy.
I like how you find my silly pictures good.
I like the sound of your voice. It's like a lullaby from my noisy and chaotic world.

I like you because it feels like you're the other crazy half of me.
I like you because you are YOU.
The warmth, the connection, the sweetness, the real you.

I like everything about you that it makes me realized that you're not just 'some guy'. You're the guy.

I once read in a book (Anna and the French Kiss) that:
"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home."

And you felt home to me....

I like you and I want to be there for your side as your friend. Or more than that, if you will chose me.

MY OWN BUT NOT WITH ME

It's Sunday today and my day off will be on Tuesday. The lad from the land down under and me are planning to go to Oman Musandam Trip on Tuesday. We're going to cross the border of UAE and Oman. Of course, crossing a border requires one thing: PASSPORT. Right now, I am still on a dilemma since my passport is with my company.

I already asked my supervisors to lend it to me. However, the admin told me that she will still ask the big boss (owner) since the passports are with them.

Now I have two thoughts:
1) If they will lend it to me, that would be great! I'll get the chance to seize the day with my friend and that is priceless! And at least, I will feel happier in my work place. Because I can prove to myself that they can still grant my simple requests.

2) If they will not lend it, this is a pity. I don't know if I can still pull out from the booking. And it will really spoil the plans. We don't have back up plans for Tuesday. The lad told me that he wants to go to the Musandam Trip WITH me and not alone. So if I cannot come, I am not sure if he's gonna go alone.

And as for my company issues, if they are not going to lend it to me, I am not sure if I can be more motivated than I am today. Though I am still grateful because I have a job but I know I deserve better than this. And this is my limit, I guess.

MR. LAD FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER

One Friday night last month, I am planning to stay in since I already went to party on Thursday night with my CS friends and our guest/friend, Felix from Germany. However, Felix, will be leaving on Saturday afternoon, heading to Philippines, and he insisted that I should go out and party. He told me we should ‘finish what we started’.

I am not in a good mood that day. I was so jealous of the other group who went to the Yacht Party. But there's no point of my tantrums, so I decided to go. We went to Pacha first but they didn’t let us in because some of us wore casual attire ONLY. It’s our bad we didn’t checked the dress code before coming. So we end up in Barasti… again. 

Our friend from Couchsurfing, Alfredo, came to Barasti with a friend. I didn’t noticed him when he was introduced, because my mind is out of nowhere. After quite some time, 3 hours (or less), I had a chance to meet and talk to this guy. He sounds so interesting. Or I found him interesting. At that moment, I knew I had to do something, I have to get in touch with him. So I asked how can I reach him? Facebook. Of course (because I am too shy to ask for his number/WhatsApp!). I told him my phone died (which is true) and he's happy to send me a friend request. 

The next day, I did the first move. Send a message: a thank you note with this and that. It took me so long to hit the send button because I was pondering if my grammar was correct or do I sound so clingy already or something. After sending the message, I literally waited for his reply. As far as I can remember, he didn't respond back SOONER. But he did! Thank goodness! Because if he didn't, I must have been long dead with embarrassment. Hahaha!

We talked a few times after that night. And it just became more often. And a habit for me *winks*.
We probably talked about all things. From our personal information, career background, origin of families, culture of our (two different) countries, passion, hobbies, relationships, travel preferences, couchsurfing experiences, friends, etc.

There's something with Mr. Lad from the land down under. I thought he's just another guy who will be a guy friend from another hometown. But it seems to me that when we talk, we are more likely one person separated into two. There are no dull moments. No dead air.. (YET - I hope this doesn't end!)..

We both agree that we just clicked. We both believe that sometimes talking to other person seems to be a struggle, but between us, it's effortless.

It's funny that I get too giddy whenever he will send me pictures and his selfies. I get too giddy and happy whenever I received any messages from him. When I have bad days, he asks me if (him) sending a picture to me will cheer me up? And of course, it will.

I feel like I am being a teenager again. The giddiness and simple happiness he can bring. The flow. I liked it. I am contented. But, I feel scared sometimes. Maybe it's just me who can feel this thing. Or maybe I am just giddy because this (chatting) is the only thing that we have? Like we don't get to know about one another personally?

Since we are both living in a different land, I don't know.

I'll find out TOMORROW. He's in London right now and he'll be arriving in Dubai tomorrow morning.

I will be meeting him tomorrow night. I feel nervous. Tensed. Nervous. Tensed.
I am excited of course. I want to know if this giddiness out of me is real. And let's see how it goes.

DISCLAIMER: I am happy being friends with him. But I think I like him in some ways he can't understand. I hope he's not reading this!

I'll keep you posted! 

THE 6,500 AED WAS GONE

I received an inquiry regarding tickets for their crew (seafarer) to be exact. It is a good account for me and I am receiving a lot of inquiries from them since ages ago and I want to achieve at least one transaction with them.

Yesterday, they agreed to the quotation I offered. It was a business class seats with Fly Dubai for two and two promotional tickets with Etihad Airways for two. For some, it may sound that this transaction is just a small amount but to me, gaining their trust is more fulfilling.

Finally, they closed the deal but their mode of payment is thru a dated cheque. We issued the tickets yesterday but the payment will be paid today.

The day has come for the payment. But, by 12 noon, they called us and they are telling us that the passengers cannot take those flight because the vessel will not arrive on time. Both the on signers and off signers have to wait for more time and of course, the flight will be missed. It left us to our options: which is to re-book the flight or to cancel the flight.

As per Etihad Airways, it is re-bookable but non-refundable. The problem is, the re-booking charges costs 865 AED while the tickets they purchased costs 700 AED only. Imagine the madness of their boss when they received this reply from me! Of course they don't want to re-book it and since it is non-refundable, they advised us to cancel it and forget about that damn tickets.

As per Fly Dubai, they told us that the tickets are re-bookable and refundable (yes finally!).... but it must be done 24 hours prior to departure (local) time. But it is already noon time.. and the flight is for tomorrow at 5 in the morning (India Time). As you can see, it is less than 24 hours prior to departure time.

What will you expect? The boss went nuts!

As swift as a blink of an eye, the tickets must still be paid even if they cannot use the tickets anymore. That's how you lose 6,500 AED in a day.

RULE TO BE LEARNED: Before closing the deal, make sure they signed (after you let them read) the ticket rules for you to be on the safe side.

 P.S. Of course I feel bad as well. In some point, I feel guilty. I thought that maybe I have mistakes as well. But.. Anyway, I just really feel bad because what if those 6,500 will be deducted from the guy who was tasked to book the tickets? Right? I know how it feels....I've been there.

And again, that's how you lose 6,500 AED in a day.

One sleepless night thinking of Ghaliyah Trouble

I cannot sleep tonight despite the fact that I haven't slept for more than 5 hours last night. And from the fact that I am not feeling well, I think I should get some good sleep right? But no.

As I am thinking of ways how to get sleep, I am just here lying down and my mind is out of control. All the possible things I can think of was now in my mind.

For tonight's topic, let me share you an insight of what's happening in my company.

A few days has passed and a lot of things changed alreay. It started last Sunday. My colleague, a good friend of mine and my former roommate was caught playing random games that afternoon. Yes, it was wrong of her to do that since we are within our working hours. After two days, the big boss asked her to leave our office. And since she doesn't have a choice, she transferred to another office in return for my good friend as well.

I should rejoice because I've been waiting for this friend of mine for her to be assigned in Karama, but I got mixed emotions. Maybe because our friendship was still in our 'down moments' or maybe I got too attached to other friend already.
From that moment, some supervisors are way too focused on us to look after what we're doing. But I felt like it is kinda suffocating. I felt like the trust was not there anymore. I think I can understand of where was that coming, but I think we also deserve to be work freely as we can. We are all professionals as well. We're not kids to look after from time to time.

For all the employees out there: Let's strive hard to be better at work. Not work harder and longer but work wiser and stronger. Let us not waste the opportunity of our job. If you think your job sucks, try my job some time. Though my job has its own ups and downs as well. 

For all the employers and superiors out there: Don't let a bad stuff be a barrier to a good employer-staff relationship. Good ideas and better communications motivates us to work better. Punishments lead to poor performance.

That's all for now. Ciao!