He arrived last Monday morning which is the first day of the week that I didn't had enough sleep. I was so focused or worried about our plan to go to Oman Musandam. If I will not be able to borrow my passport, we cannot go.
After getting through the day of worrying, they let me borrow my passport for a day. But I think the universe would like to make a scene that's why the tour got cancelled because of the bad weather (waves of the sea, etc.) as per the tour operator. This pissed me off literally...big time! But of course, I cannot do anything about it. So I have to shrug it off. We had dinner and we had interesting conversation about everything.
We started my day off seizing the day by sleeping. Well I think he did, but I had these clients who doesn't understand the word 'DAY OFF'. Like it's the only day in a week that I got! I am already working six days a week times 11 hours in a day. I am begging! But they didn't understand it anyway. Instead of throwing tantrums, I took naps and naps and naps as much as I can get.
We had lunch in Max's (a Filipino Restaurant) and we talked about the stocks and investments all throughout. This is a surprise to me and to him (I guess).
A good time in the pool in the rooftop was the thing we did after some walking. The view from the rooftop was really relaxing, let alone the dip in the pool. I got the chance to hear some stories that I know he can never tell to just any girl. I felt fortunate, and felt sad at the same time to hear the biscuit story. I will never look at biscuits the same way again.
Since it is Tuesday, we went to the weekly meet-up in Crowne Plaza then to the after party which is in The Rodeo Drive. The night didn't end up as a great party since I had a breakdown due to personal issues, but I am so thankful that he's there. I felt sorry that I wasn't able to tell him the issue that I saw coming but his care was enough.
Wednesday. The last full day of his trip which is the final leg of his vacation. I got mixed emotions since I have to work 'til late at night but I am happy for him because he was able to do his one must-accomplished thing to do in Dubai, snowboarding in Ski Dubai.
The last dinner. The highlight of his trip for me. This is the night that I told him to look for the note that I wrote for him. So when I asked him to look for it, he already knew where it was and he just pulled it out. I found out that he went for a visit during the day to look for it. I asked him to write a note for me. And that's him, so focused and serious. He told me to come and read it when he left. *dug dug dug dug*
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| At The Rodeo Drive with friends |
The last dinner. The highlight of his trip for me. This is the night that I told him to look for the note that I wrote for him. So when I asked him to look for it, he already knew where it was and he just pulled it out. I found out that he went for a visit during the day to look for it. I asked him to write a note for me. And that's him, so focused and serious. He told me to come and read it when he left. *dug dug dug dug*
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| At KimChikin |
The last night of his stay in Dubai includes him taking pictures of me. I want him to delete it because I look so wasted and silly but he said he doesn't want to because he liked it. And because he know I can sing a little, he asked me to sing, for him. The favorite song that I do know very well is I'd Rather - Jasmine Trias. Good thing he doesn't know the song. But I think the message of the song is okay and suits the moment.
We watched and talked about some movie clips with movie soundtracks then we reached the point of playing 'Falling Slowly' from the movie 'Once'. I was so surprised that he know this movie. We both love the song! I was singing the song like whispering it to his ear while my feet is on his feet (like when you dance slowly). I felt that was one of the sweetest moment of his stay. It was so simple yet very memorable to me.
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| Last Morning in Dubai |
At the airport, he checked-in his luggage already and the tension is there for me. He didn't went in first and he decided to stay for a few more minutes. I cannot picture out what is he thinking at that moment. I regret that I wasn't able to say all the stuff that I want to tell him personally, like telling him directly in his face that I like him. As to what written in my note, I will confess my feelings before he leave Dubai.
And this is it. It is now or never. But... it is his time to go in. Damn!
I cannot remember if he said he's going in or I pushed him to go in. I didn't care anymore if we're in a Muslim country. I let him kiss me on the cheeks and hug him tight that I don't want him to let go. But I know that if I stay for another minute, I know I will not be able to let go. So I think I pushed him away.
I hate saying goodbye, as well as dropping someone off especially in airports. He's walking towards the counter and I am wishing (I have to use this word) that he will not look back. I think it will be easier if he will not look back. But he did. Oh no. He kept looking back at me til' he passed that counter for him to cross the immigration.
He stood there, waving his hands as a formal goodbye. I don't want to stare long cos' I'm afraid that sadness might crawl into my skin. I think it was me who turn my back first. And when I did, I realized one thing. It is not that I am not confident about myself. It is that I am afraid that you will just be a 'too good to be true' guy for me. That the happiness you brought is just until here. No part 2, part 3, part 4. Like a holiday romance.
And I don't want that to happen. I am too scared.
CONFESSION PART: (Since I am too afraid to tell it in your face...)
I like you as I like my cup of instant coffee everyday, sweet and always there for me. It keeps me awake and you awakened the mushy part of me. I know I say it often that I don't like it much but knowing you makes me think of mushy things with you.
I like how you open yourself to me.
I like how you accept my silliness... and how you accept me for saying I am crazy.
I like how you find my silly pictures good.
I like the sound of your voice. It's like a lullaby from my noisy and chaotic world.
I like you because it feels like you're the other crazy half of me.
I like you because you are YOU.
The warmth, the connection, the sweetness, the real you.
I like everything about you that it makes me realized that you're not just 'some guy'. You're the guy.
I once read in a book (Anna and the French Kiss) that:
"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home."
And you felt home to me....
I like you and I want to be there for your side as your friend. Or more than that, if you will chose me.
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