Looking back at my broken heart...

Really, where do broken hearts go?

Where were you when you got your heart broken? Baguio? Sagada? Manila?

Where was I that time someone broke my heart?

During that time, it was my birth month. 15 days before my birth date, I think. 16 months ago, someone broke my heart. I am not washing my hands nor blaming him. I have my own shortcomings too.

Bottom line: We parted ways. I didn't wait for some force that you cannot see to pull us back together. Because I know it's over.

It's the saying that, if he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't love you anymore.  Simple.

So where was I that time?
I didn't linger around Manila. I wasn't in Baguio. I didn't screamed at the top of Mt. Kiltepan.

I was in Bokod, Benguet. I saved all the money that I could during those last days of the semester. Packed some clothes and bought camping gears. And have my way to Benguet.

I gathered all my thoughts and my energy to stay awake during the long drive from South to North.
I love long drives. Especially the drive to North. I felt like North is my second home.

From Baguio to Benguet, I embraced the wind, the sun, my windbreaker and my backpack.
Gathering my thought as we climb higher and higher, I had a lot of time to think. To freshen up. To be renewed.

I went to climb Mt. Pulag. With my broken heart. To see the most beautiful sunrise.

SUNRISE. 

I was mesmerized with its beauty. I didn't even dare to ask how am I not a morning person.
Its beauty is so powerful. Magnificent. That's the only word I could muster.

After seeing the most beautiful sunrise, I believe God tells me His beautiful message for me. 

                                                                                                                                                                 
And I whisper back, "Thank You Lord for the healing."

And truly I was healed. My broken heart found her way home to Laguna with a renewed soul and spirit.... Hoping that her heart will never get broken again.  

As I look back, a wonderful breakthrough happened. Career. Family. Friends. Spirituality. If ever I will choose a way how to get that victory on a second chance, I would've still chosen the same path. Sunset.... then sunrise. ❤

                                              

FILM REVIEW: THAT THING CALLED TADHANA

A Filipino Independent 'Romantic-Comedy' yet Minimalist Film starring Angelica Panganiban (Mace) and JM De Guzman (Anthony) directed by acclaimed rookie director Antoinette Jadaone.

The story rotates on finding an answer to the question "Where do broken hearts go?"and tells the story of Mace, struggling to meet the airline baggage requirement who meets a man, Anthony, who comes to her aid. Both in despair of love, where do broken hearts go to mend their hearts?

REVIEW:

Characters/Casting:
On Angelica Panganiban - She is not the girl next door type whom every girl can relate to. Her looks depicts different a different class, like the lady with a class type.Her script 'Am I ugly?' doesn't suit her. Though I believe that this film is a good learning platform for her. As I reviewed her journey during the film, she devoted her time to fit in Mace's shoes. I appreciate her effort for trying.
On JM De Guzman - He's the boy next door! The next big John Lloyd Cruz of the new generation. The one whom you think will not hurt you rather the one who will cry for you. I want more of his acting skills in this film! Bitin!

Setting:
I am not satisfied. There are lots of picturesque places in Baguio. From what I heard/see in the social media, a lot of people wants to go to Baguio and Sagada because of this film. So, I thought the views are stunning. But it was so short. They've just showed Mt. Kiltepan. Sagada has more to offer. I know it's just indie film so the budget is kinda tight, but we all know that travelling in North can not be not that expensive.

Plot:
Well since it's a minimalist plot, it's okay. Not more than that. I just hoped that the team behind this film can do something like the 'Before' Trilogy. Not a bad idea right?

Screen writing:
Mixed emotions. I love the ad-lib of the two. Though the 'hugot' lines, I want more. I crave for more. The lines seems so subtle for me. There are more painful words thrown in this world than these lines. There are more break-up scenes that will make your heart cringe in despair. You know that.

But we cannot disagree to the fact that some 'hugot' lines are relate-able.  Still, I see a lot of room for improvement.

Cinematography:
High Definition, yes. Average.

Sub-titles: 
What the fuck? Use more appropriate terms next time.

FINAL VERDICT: 

Where do broken hearts go?

Someone asked me, "Do you have any idea of how much is the G-Shock (watch) there in Dubai? Can you buy me one and I will just pay you back when you get back?" 

I answered, "Well, I haven't had much of an idea because I wasn't able to check it in malls."  

Her reply was, "What? Your time spending there in abroad is just a waste of time. You should go out and travel."

I want to slap her. In the face. With a chair. 

You probably heard a lot of stories that the life of an OFW isn't that easy. We are not working in a foreign land to travel everyday or to have our asses be spoiled. A lot of people are waking up from that lie nowadays. Though there are still a lot more to tell. 

And I am not an exception..... 

  

For all of you who thinks that I am having my breakthrough (here in Dubai, just sitting while earning money) then you have to slap your face too. I knew since then that it is indeed a (suicide) mission. 

They send me to a place far away from home. To keep me safe. Did I get any safer? 

The more they wanted me to stay from home, the more my home gets broken. And I am afraid that I don't have any home left in the Philippines when I get back (whatever the Lord wills) ...  

My mind was full of whats ifs since I left. 

What if I didn't leave? Will they be staying together?

And what if they are? Will my dad just stay at home and not go to prison?

And what if my dad is not in prison? My mom will be always there to take care of him. 

But the reality is that, what ifs are the most painful thing to accept for us to move on. 

Regrets makes our heart cringes. And my heart was shattered ... into million pieces. And I lost the pieces while trying to put it back. What if there's no more pieces left to put back? . 

So where do broken hearts go? You can find one sitting in an office, working very well, living her life independently, and trying to live the best she can. 

She cannot trust someone anymore, she's too tired of trusting others to take care of her heart. 

She cannot receive love anymore, because the tank was not there to receive it. 

She cannot give love anymore, because even her doesn't have any love left. 

The heart was shattered into million pieces in every possible way that the world can hurt her, and that no one can put it back the same way again. Except from my savior, my truth and my life, my GOD. 

The explorer lands in Middle East!

The explorer is back!

Where am I? Landed on United Arab Emirates .... in the city of Gold, Dubai, to be exact. 

I've been here for 5 months already but I just got the time to continue blogging, and of course, let's start the new chapter of my life in a new page! So let me introduce you to the the explorer 2.0 from the moment of my arrival. 

I was trained in Amadeus at their very own office here in Dubai, been using that system 'til today ... 

            

Working in a travel agency ...

Going out on a budget somewhere here and there ...

... and staying strong. :)

The journey begins here .... Stay tuned!