Where do broken hearts go?

Someone asked me, "Do you have any idea of how much is the G-Shock (watch) there in Dubai? Can you buy me one and I will just pay you back when you get back?" 

I answered, "Well, I haven't had much of an idea because I wasn't able to check it in malls."  

Her reply was, "What? Your time spending there in abroad is just a waste of time. You should go out and travel."

I want to slap her. In the face. With a chair. 

You probably heard a lot of stories that the life of an OFW isn't that easy. We are not working in a foreign land to travel everyday or to have our asses be spoiled. A lot of people are waking up from that lie nowadays. Though there are still a lot more to tell. 

And I am not an exception..... 

  

For all of you who thinks that I am having my breakthrough (here in Dubai, just sitting while earning money) then you have to slap your face too. I knew since then that it is indeed a (suicide) mission. 

They send me to a place far away from home. To keep me safe. Did I get any safer? 

The more they wanted me to stay from home, the more my home gets broken. And I am afraid that I don't have any home left in the Philippines when I get back (whatever the Lord wills) ...  

My mind was full of whats ifs since I left. 

What if I didn't leave? Will they be staying together?

And what if they are? Will my dad just stay at home and not go to prison?

And what if my dad is not in prison? My mom will be always there to take care of him. 

But the reality is that, what ifs are the most painful thing to accept for us to move on. 

Regrets makes our heart cringes. And my heart was shattered ... into million pieces. And I lost the pieces while trying to put it back. What if there's no more pieces left to put back? . 

So where do broken hearts go? You can find one sitting in an office, working very well, living her life independently, and trying to live the best she can. 

She cannot trust someone anymore, she's too tired of trusting others to take care of her heart. 

She cannot receive love anymore, because the tank was not there to receive it. 

She cannot give love anymore, because even her doesn't have any love left. 

The heart was shattered into million pieces in every possible way that the world can hurt her, and that no one can put it back the same way again. Except from my savior, my truth and my life, my GOD.